CLAY: You know things are wild everywhere, but a woman got attacked by a monkeys? What exactly is this story? It’s Planet of the Apes style.
BUCK: This is crazy. Just a few days ago — it was on Friday — a woman happened upon the scene of a trailer crash, a pickup towing a trailer with a hundred monkeys. She tried to assist, and one of the monkeys — as they are known to do, for those who have spent time around monkeys — spit at her and hit her, and now she has developed what is described as “pinkeye symptoms.” But a woman happened upon a crash of lab monkeys, I guess.
I don’t know what they’re doing with these monkeys. I gotta find that out. Oh, they’re being transported to a zoo. That makes sense. Oh, wait. “At the time, Fallon said after she learned the crates contained monkeys, she assumed they were being transported to a zoo because the driver never mentioned anything about the monkeys being imported and being transported to a lab.” Oh, no.
CLAY: Oh no. So they testing, monkey testing.
BUCK: That’s in the USA Today story. So they are lab monkeys. This is, I believe, very close to the beginning of the movie 28 Days Later — which is terrifying — and also the movie Outbreak, which I think involves a monkey biting a person.
CLAY: So we used to do for people out there who were OutKick listeners back in the day in our sports-talk radio show we would do Animal Thunderdome stories and we were down in Fort Myers, and I got a question from a guy in the crowd who said, “Can you bring back an Animal Thunderdome segment?” and Animal Thunderdome was basically people getting attacked by animals.
This is a pretty tough spot to be in. You don’t want to hear that you have developed some sort of medical response to your interaction with laboratory monkeys. I mean, that is (laughing) of the sentences… If you think you’re having a rough day, unless you have been attacked by laboratory monkeys and develop some sort of reaction to that, your day’s not that bad.
BUCK: Imagine you call your physician. “Hey, Doc. I gotta come in and see you.” “What happened? ” Well, there was a lab escape of a bunch of monkeys. I don’t know what they were doing the tests with, but one of them spat at me, and now I can’t really see out of one of my eyes.”
CLAY: (laughing)
BUCK: I think the doc might show up with one of these big hazmat suits. That, by the way, will stop the virus. Just to be clear, that actually works.
CLAY: I’d be in favor of a hazmat suit there. I might be in a hazmat suit if I was that doctor.
The Texas senator hangs with C&B and weighs in on big issues.
The Federalist's Brianna Lyman's view on the current political climate.
The man who holds JD Vance's U.S. senate seat on the fight to keep it.
Deal or no deal? C&B take a look at the latest.
The Assistant Attorney General of the United States joins C&B.
Ann Coulter has never held back in her life. This interview was no exception.