BUCK: Clay, I caught heat because I made a joke about milk over the weekend on Twitter and how I went to get a cup of coffee —

CLAY: Who in the world was offended by your milk joke?

BUCK: Tons of blue checks.

CLAY: (laughing)

BUCK: Tons of them. They are total lunatics.

CLAY: I saw that joke, and I was like, “Yeah, you’re in the South. People just get milk in their coffee or whatever.”

BUCK: I just went to a couple of coffee shots, “Hey, what you want?” “Coffee with milk.” I’m like, “Great.” I have made jokes in the past about as a New Yorker now, the coffee shop — when I’m not drinking my Black Rifle, which I love, but sometimes I’m on the move and I happen to not have it. I’ll go in and say, “Can I have coffee?” I’ll say “milk,” and they ask me, “Which kind?”

In northern Florida, when you ask for “milk” in your coffee, they just put milk in. There’s no long discussion about “do you mean oat milk?” or “soy” (come on) or even almond (chalk water)

Milk means milk. It’s civilized down here.

— Buck Sexton (@BuckSexton) March 27, 2022

Now, all the idiot blue checks out there are saying, “Oh, sorry capitalism that you love so much has given you all these options,” to which I want to say to them, “I’m not saying I can’t get the other milks. I’m just saying, if you want oat milk, you should just specify oat milk. But if you just say ‘milk,’ in the English language, that should mean the stuff that comes out of a cow in the context of a coffee shop.”

It’s also known as a joke. Like, I’m not actually upset about this. I was just kidding. Clay, dozens of journalists working for whatever the lib newspaper is in Jacksonville and all, “Mwuh! We have lots of milk down here, too, Mr. Fancy.” I’m like, “What is wrong with you people?” But you know what it is? They know that I’m somebody who makes fun of their stupid announcing of pronouns. They know that I make fun of their dumb masks. They just hate me, and so when they see an opportunity to be like, “Grrr,” that’s what’s happening.

CLAY: It’s also whatever you say on social media, people get so fired up. I remember years ago I went on and I was like, I’m a big cobbler guy, you know, right? Not in terms of making my own shoes. As in I love cobbler. And, by the way, blackberry cobbler in my humble opinion, greatest of the cobblers right? And so at some point I was like, “Hey, I think the best desert is cobbler,” and people got so angry. They were like, “Cobbler sucks! I hate cobbler!”

I was like, it didn’t matter, and that’s why to a large extent I don’t really read the mentions for whatever reason. People get in arguments with each other and everything else. I give my opinion, and then I kind of just let the battle take place. But it’s crazy how opinionated people are about things that are very innocuous, right, that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. People want to, like, knock you out over it.

BUCK: Just some people like, “Oh, what do you deal with in Clay and Buck World?” the two of us and other people who do this, too, you know, I can say something like I think, you know… I think that green bean casserole is the worst Thanksgiving side. Let’s say I said that.

CLAY: A strong argument, by the way, in my opinion. I’m not a green bean guy.

BUCK: People are gonna come at me on that one. But instead of just saying “I disagree,” this is the world of political discourse now online. Instead of someone saying, “I disagree. Green bean casserole is delicious,” they’re like, “Why are you so ugly and stupid? Your mother should be ashamed of you.”

CLAY: (laughing)

BUCK: You know what I mean? Can we just — and I’m sure you deal with this in sports sometimes you push for the wrong team you say a player shouldn’t get an amount of money and people completely lose their minds.

CLAY: Yeah, that’s why politics… People say the transition from sports to politics. When you have picked a team in a Southeastern Conference football rivalry to beat another team, there’s nothing people can say. Like, when you pick Alabama or Auburn, there’s nothing. Georgia-Auburn, you know, Tennessee-Alabama, Florida-Georgia, you pick one side or the other there, there’s nothing that anybody can say to you in the world of politics that is angrier or meaner than what they say when you pick against their favorite college football team. So, I mean, I gotta have really thick skin but it is funny to me how angry people get about just a simple opinion like yours. “Hey, it’s great that we have just normal milk, and we don’t have all these crazy milk substitutes.”

BUCK: I could read… I have, like, some professor from like a university in Korea. Obviously he’s an American; he’s teaching over there. He’s lecturing me on how this is evidence of my closed-mindedness which is a trait of conservatives. I’m like, “What is wrong with everybody?”

CLAY: Blue check gets so much angrier at you than they do me. I can barely get a blue check to come after me.

BUCK: They love the sports guy. You’re sports. You’re fun. I’m sitting here talking about crushing libs with perfect hair, so they hate me.

CLAY: (laughing)

BUCK: They hate me. Anyway. All right. Here we go.

CLAY: Actually, the most criticism you’ve gotten on your show was for your Simone Biles take back in the Summer Olympics, probably.

BUCK: The left went nuts on me over that.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

BUCK: You know, sometimes, Clay, I gotta tell you, I like to engage in “appropriation” from the libs. You know what? I like their foamy lattes — I’ll just say it right now — and even their… You always bring up the scarf.

CLAY: (laughing)

BUCK: The scarf is actually a keffiyeh that I bought in a marketplace on deployment in Afghanistan. So I’m just throwing that out there. A little different than a scarf. (French accent. “It’s not like my name is Jacques, and I’m smoking a gauloises with a scarf indoors.”

CLAY: I don’t know how much the scarf makes you warmer. Like, is your throat the area between where your shirt ends and your beard begins — is that area on your body — just frigid, like, you have to warm it so much? Like, I’ve just never thought to myself like, “You know, I’m really cold, and the part of my body that’s really the coldest is my neck.” Like, I’ve never been a need-to-warm-my-neck guy.

BUCK: My man, we got solid-gold vocal chords here. We got Lloyds of London needs to insure them.

CLAY: Gotta preserve the pipes?

BUCK: Did you ever get a cortisone shot to open up your throat to do a radio show? ‘Cause I had to do that the first time I ever filled in for Rush, the greatest.

CLAY: I’ve been… I mean, it’s ridiculous, because to worry about voice working, when I first started doing three hours a day of radio, I was worried because most people don’t talk that much, right, where you are literally talking as much as we are on a day-to-day basis. But I’m knocking furiously on this Formica or this fake wood or whatever it is. I’ve never had a voice-related issue where I’ve been concerned about being able to speak on air. Now, I’ve sounded bad (chuckles) as people who are listening to us right now know, we had like the worst cold in the history of colds.

BUCK: We had back-to-back covid, basically, and hadn’t even been within 500 miles of the same place or same studios. That can happen. So, anyway, on my lib appropriation thing, ’cause I like their frothy lattes. I even sometimes have the turmeric latte. Try it sometimes, folks. Don’t knock it ’til you try it. I’m telling you it’s pretty good. The keffiyeh from Afghanistan is not really quite as… You know, that’s more of a keepsake. Indoor scarves. I’m not gonna… I’m a scarf guy, Clay. I like scarves, sometimes.

CLAY: I don’t wear a scarf.

BUCK: Yeah, you’re in Nashville. No one in Nashville wears a scarf. You guys might wire bolo ties, not gonna wear scarves. And this other thing, e-scooters, which according to the Wall Street Journal “are having a moment as gas prices surge, consumers sick of paying premium prices at the pump increasingly relying on electric scooters to get around.” Now, I gotta tell you something. I had never ridden one of these things ’til my brothers came to visit me in Washington, D.C., when I was work at The Hill a few years and one of them said, “You know, there’s this program…”

I saw them all over. They would leave them on. It was like a ride share, and it was like a beautiful day there. I had never ridden one of these things before. I’m gonna tell you, yes, they look nerdy, but they are so… When you’re on them and you’re going around a city, they’re so much, like, goofy fun. They’re so fun to ride around on, and they’re having a moment now because in a lot of places if you can get five or six miles without having to get into your car, which is about what some of these, each way —

CLAY: The range.

BUCK: — reasonably do, you could do five or six each way, people are relying on more and more on these e-scooters. And I understand. I’m trying to tell people Clay, “It’s a little bit like Tesla. Electric car used to be the Prius. It used to be on the Bernie Sanders-voting commie who, you know, watches MSNBC drive a Prius.” But then the Tesla came along and now Elon’s pretty amazing. Electric scooters, I know people think of them as some kind of a lib urban thing, you know, lib city thing, but they’re really fun. I’m just gonna tell you they’re really fun.

CLAY: Here is my question. Are you the only Trump voter on an electric scooter with a scarf in all of New York City?

BUCK: Oh, yes. Yes.

CLAY: Is there anyone else? If we just were like giving, you know, the Venn diagram of overlapping Trump voter with e-scooter, scarf, living in New York City, you might be the only person. Well, you’ve got your oat milk.

BUCK: Drinking a turmeric latte!

CLAY: Yeah.

BUCK: Turmeric latte. Throw that in.

CLAY: Here’s a confession from me, by the way. The lib popularity thing that I’ve embraced actually pretty good. I know people ridicule it. Avocado toast is pretty good. You ever had at avocado toast that every makes fun of?

BUCK: I could sit here on make fun of you. Avocado toast on gluten-free bread is my jam, Travis, I love it.

CLAY: I was initially like, “Look at all these Millennials and their young people with their stupid avocado toast.” I had it and I’m like, “Man, this avocado toast stuff, I’m not gonna knock it anymore. It’s really good.”

BUCK: I will take the tools of the enemy, my friend, avocado toast, turmeric lattes, you name it, I’m into it.