What Pocahontas Says People Told Her She Needs to Be President

CLAY: One person who continues to tell us all sorts of ridiculous lies is our friend Elizabeth Warren, a/k/a Pocahontas herself. Elizabeth Warren is a part of a Politico article, which is interesting in and of itself, that there would be this article coming out right now. But this is the tease for this new Elizabeth Warren Politico article. And it says, “On the plane to New Hampshire the night of the Iowa caucuses, Warren said…”

Elizabeth Warren, a/k/a Pocahontas, a/k/a Miss One… What was it, 1/1024 of her DNA? One of the all-time moments when you could point to everybody being in the bag for Democrats was when Elizabeth Warren came out and said, “See? I really am a narrative American,” and she got her own DNA analyzed, and it showed that she was 1/1024 Native American. That is a… You know, one in a thousand, basically, percentage, clearly, her overall DNA.

And people said, “Oh, what a huge win this is for Elizabeth Warren to prove once and for all that she is Native American,” and then other people were like, “Actually every white person in the United States, on average, has at least that much Native American DNA as a part of their DNA code.” But Elizabeth Warren, a/k/a Pocahontas herself, “said, on the night of the Iowa caucuses,” this is direct quote, “Everyone comes up to me and says, ‘I would vote for you if you had a penis.’”

First of all, that is one billion percent false. I bet there has not ever been anyone who has ever come up to Elizabeth Warren and said, “I would vote for you if you had a penis.” But awfully sexist of the Democrat voters if that is the case, right? Because they’re saying the only reason they didn’t vote for her is because she didn’t get a penis. So maybe Elizabeth Warren needs to think about some surgery going in under the knife, becoming transgender, change her name to something else masculine. Boom. She’d be the next candidate for president for the Democrat Party. That seems to be the only solution to that lie that she is spreading and the awful sexism that exists right now in the Democrat Party.

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